2009
Tue
30
Jun
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THAT THING Is Finally Back!

(3)
Tuition given in the topic of Miss Loi the Tutor from the tuition centre desk of Miss Loi at 11:36 pm (Singapore time)

“Eh, have you been approached by customers regarding THAT THING yet?”

“Of course lah! Today alone already got three asked me about THAT THING!”

“Yalor … I walk back and forth bringing customers to the area of THAT THING until sianz already …”

… and that’s what Miss Loi managed to eavesdrop of the conversation within the group of ah lian salesgirls while hunting for a book on hairstyling tips in a major bookstall.

With a sudden realization, she rushed quickly to the area of THAT THING, to find a couple of people looking suspiciously like tutors already trying to make a clean sweep of the stacks.

And so to those of you who have been emailing/calling/SMS-ing all the “Miss Loi do you sell the Ten-Year Series?”, “Miss Loi do you have copies of past O-Level exam papers?”, “Miss Loi, can download all the Ten-Year Series from your website???” messages, let it be know that after a contract wrangle of Cristiano Ronaldo proportions, the new Ten-Year Series are finally back on the shelves (apparently even before July has started).

New Ten Year Series 2008

(L-R) Hairstyling Tips Book, 1999-2008 E-Maths Ten-Year Series,
1999-2008 A-Maths Ten-Year Series

So if you’re one of the many who’ve been waiting an age for them, go grab them now before people like Miss Loi (who look suspiciously like tutors) sweep them clean. And please, please practice them if you haven’t yet done so (don’t keep them as souvenirs!).

Most importantly, they contain all the QUESTIONS of the suggested solutions to the 2008 O/A-Level October/November papers on the top-left of this website!

MUGGERS REJOICE!

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2009
Mon
29
Jun
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The Little Tutor: Wind of Change

(9)
Tuition given in the topic of Miss Loi the Tutor from the tuition centre desk of Miss Loi at 2:49 pm (Singapore time)
Teen Miss Loi

Photo taken just after ponytails
were snipped

There she goes … there she goes again …

As mentioned previously, time and time again like the famous tune at the time, she blazed through all tests, exams, and even an art competition like a teenage riot.

So much so that she made it deep into Upper Quartile territory in a National Examination’s Cumulative Frequency Curve, and (with a huge sigh of relieve) she gladly gave up her hideous green/yellow combo for the pure angelic Championship White uniform of her next school – but had to pay a tragic price when draconian school rules decreed that her twin 发娇 ponytails must go.

Thus it was a period of change.

A time when the squabbling Ahmad, John & Gopal were replaced by the cryptic x‘s & y‘s in Algebra, and when English compositions moved beyond “My Family” and their stereotypical outings to the beach.

A time when she grew tall enough to join the school’s basketball team (though her skills belonged to another story). A time when some semblance of a voice finally came from her mouth when the national anthem was played.

A time when new friends were made. Friends with Mandarin accent that didn’t sound so weird anymore. Friends whom she would regularly hang out with at McDonald’s. Friends who had bought her her very first birthday presents on the second-last day of June.

It was a period of change.

It was the time when the Berlin Wall fell. A time when the quarrels back home grew louder and more frequent, and when the magical increase of her POSB account balance became less and less frequent.

To be continued …

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2009
Fri
26
Jun
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The Little Tutor: Princessa

(5)
Tuition given in the topic of Miss Loi the Tutor from the tuition centre desk of Miss Loi at 5:06 pm (Singapore time)
A young Miss Loi

Those were the 发娇 days

previously

Perhaps it was the breakfast she ate that morning. Perhaps the principal was in a charitable mood that day. Or perhaps it was just pure luck.

Those little pre-Heuristics & pre-Foundation era questions were no match for her paganistic non-MOE approved mathematical powers, filling the common room with a blinding spell of light as she blazed through the math paper of the Entrance Exam, sending wide-eyed teachers fleeing in all directions. (Alright the last part didn’t quite happen)

With that, the gates opened up for her grand entry (with twin 发娇 ponytails flailing in the wind – God of Gamblers slow-mo style), to take her first steps into a brand-new world …

A world where uniforms were different for different schools, where classmates spoke Mandarin with a strange accent, and where she lip-synced to an alien national anthem each morning.

A world where her by-now-MOE-approved mathematical powers would allow her to no-need-to-study-but-still-can-pwn all exams, tests, and all lame problem sums involving Ahmad, Bala, Gopal and John (who always seemed to have money issues amongst themselves).

A world where she could spin in excess of 100 rpm‘s (correct to 3 sig. fig.) worth of ‘sallies‘ in Zero Point, and where classmates watched in awe as she predicted with deadly accuracy the trajectory of every Five Stones sack.

In a time when songs like that “Lucky, Lucky, Lucky Song“, “You Bad, My Bad Song” (r.i.p.) etc., that *”Rumour Song“, and that “Enter/Exit Song” dominated the airwaves, beng-ish discos (before they were known as clubs), and the Mini-Compos at the beaches respectively.

In a time when her interest in TV dramas started (coz she had too much free time in her hands), and she would made sure she reached her rented home in time to catch a local show involving a Teacher who kept uttering “Ai-Yo-Yo!“.

In a time when Dad was just a distant figure who magically increased her POSB account balance by $30 every month.

In an age when she lived like a princess without a care in the world, save for the occasion pimple outbreak.

Welcome to school, Miss Loi!

To be continued …

*Things haven’t really changed much (music-wise), have they?

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2009
Mon
22
Jun
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Biological Warfare At The Temple Gates

(19)
Tuition given in the topic of Miss Loi's Temple aka Joss Sticks Tuition Centre from the tuition centre desk of Little Miss Loi at 9:44 pm (Singapore time)
Mitigation Phase

“Mitigation” Phase

UPDATE:

As we’re reportedly now in the last leg of the great H1N1 fight (even though Singapore should have well beyond 1000 cases by now), it’s time to remove the irrelevant list of affected countries from the notice.

In these dangerous times when an unseen enemy threatens to extend everyone’s June holidays, the grave-looking Biological Specialist of The Temple has issued the following urgent announcement (especially for those of you returning from your tour to some exotic location or have been partying illegally in some club disguised as a dairy product manfacturer etc.):

Unseen Enemy At The Temple Gates

In addition, all visitors/students at The Temple are advised to adhere to good personal & environmental hygiene practices (which you should have been doing all along anyway) i.e.

  • Wash your hands thoroughly with soap and water before & after class
  • Avoid physical contact (e.g. hugging one another emotionally after solving a difficult problem) whenever possible
  • Look away and cover your nose & mouth with a tissue whenever you cough or sneeze
  • Refrain from disgusting acts like leaving used tissues on the table, wiping your germ-infected hands on books/chairs/eyes/mouths/nose/anything/anyone you can (literally) lay your dirty hands on … ewwwww … 🙁

We seek your kind cooperation for the sake of everyone’s well-being, and to preempt the possibility of The Temple having to re-locate to some far-flung resort where, as Miss Loi was told, there’s no Starhub Cable TV which means that she will miss at least a week’s worth of the Channel 55/255 娱家戏剧台 VV dramas!

DOWN WITH H1N1!


Jubilent Hong Kong Students

Will we see the same unbridled joy like
those on the faces of these Hong Kong students?

P.S. Speaking of extending the school holidays, after being questioned an umpteenth time by her students on whether she has any “insider info” on this matter, Miss Loi actually went to ask a teacher friend of hers …

Miss Loi:Eh cher, do you know if the June holidays will be extended? Shouldn’t they have announced it by now if it’s true?”

Mean Teacher Friend:Aiyoh Miss Loi, please use your BRAIN lah! I thought you very smart one?”

😕

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2009
Thu
18
Jun
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Going Away …

(6)
Tuition given in the topic of Miss Loi the Tutor from the tuition centre desk of Miss Loi at 1:37 am (Singapore time)

Unfortunately, the ongoing period drama The Little Tutor has to be interrupted as Miss Loi needs to rush to Hong Kong due to a family emergency.

Hong Kong Emergency

She’s probably somewhere over the South China Sea by the time you read this.

Miss Loi will be back on Saturday (20 June). Till then please contact her via email at Miss Loi's Email for all enquiries, and she seeks your kind understanding if she’s unable to reply you during the next two days.

Don’t think there’ll be any mood for shopping this time 🙁


P.S. All of Miss Loi’s classes from Thursday to Friday (18-19 June) have been postponed and all affected students (should) have been notified. Rest of the classes at The Temple (incl. Mr Loi’s & Little Miss Loi’s) are not affected and will proceed as normal.
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