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2012
Sun
21
Oct
Miss Loi avatar

The Temple Of O Level Flying Daggers

(1)
Tuition given in the topic of Miss Loi's Temple aka Joss Sticks Tuition Centre from the desk of Miss Loi at 5:35 pm (Singapore time)

Act I, Scene 1
Miss Loi’s Temple, Courtyard

O Level 2012 Temple Banners

The Hanging O Level 2012 Banners
at The Temple

The rows of banners hung limp in perfect equilibrium in the still air that embraced the Temple Grounds, where she sat immaculately poised in the courtyard.

TWAAANG! …

A solitary note escaped from the guzheng on her lap, creating a longitudinal wave of wavelength λ that broke the deafening silence.

TWAAAAAANG!!!! … … …

The compressions and rarefactions of the surrounding air molecules continued, as she plucked another string with her slender finger to let loose a second note (this time with wavelength ½λ, else a monotonous tune would really bore all living things around her to death).

Miss Loi the High Priestess

The noob guzheng player

The second note of the torturous song she was trying to play had barely settled, when a sudden gust of wind blew across the courtyard, violently rustling the bamboo grove in front of the Temple.

Rustling Bamboo Grove

Those familiar with wuxia dramas will recognize this as a sign of imminent danger. And true enough, a flying dagger shot out from nowhere, narrowly missing (and scarring for life) her pretty face to impale itself on a nearby column.

[Enter CHIEF DISCIPLE]

The Chief Disciple of The Temple appeared and rushed forward to kneel on one knee before her.

(translated from Mandarin)

Disciple Loi

My High Priestess 教主! Are you alright? Please forgive me for your alarm!

High Priestess Loi

I am fine. Look! The dagger carries a message!

Unrolling the little scroll of paper which came with the dagger, the message read

To the High Priestess of The Temple,

Let this be a reminder to you that disciples from your 魔教 Temple cult shall meet us on Monday for a series of decisive battles aka 决战 to settle our scores once and for all.

Be very prepared, for we shall will show no mercy and the MODERATION will be intense!

Prepare for your academic demise! MUAHAHAHAHA!!!

Regards,

A Muggertoad Scholar
(from an elite 名门正派 institution)

Glancing at the countdown timer on the top right corner of this website, she sighed.

江湖

High Priestess Loi

So it’s here.

In the coming weeks, everyone will 决一死战 and fight each other tooth and nail, exploiting one another’s minute weaknesses – where a wrong unit, a slight careless mistake, a wrong number of significant figures or rejecting a value when not required by the question could lead to a life & death difference between an A1/A2/B3 grade.

Such is the mess of our academic 江湖 these days.

Turning to the Chief Disciple, she asked

High Priestess Loi

Have our flying daggers been released?

Disciple Loi

Yes my High Priestess 教主! They have been launched to dispatch last-minute tips for select subjects on our Facebook wall, 小李飛刀-style, since weeks go!

And they will continue to despatch tips on that page till the very end!

Click the Like button to receive The Temple’s last-minute tips on our Facebook page’s wall. It’s all happening there!

High Priestess Loi

Good. Have our disciples inscribed their oaths?

Disciple Loi

Yes they have! My High Priestess 教主!

Temple Ema 2012

Temple ema 2012 – fulfill thy oaths!

In addition, I’ve given out your farewell bookmarks which will serve, in some ways, as a small spiritual piece of The Temple in their exam halls.

Farewell Bookmarks

May a piece of The Temple stay with you forever.

Turning her gaze to the mist formed around the Temple Gates, she continued,

High Priestess Loi

And so the Great Battle begins.

The weeks ahead will be fraught with danger, with tricky questions lying in wait for those who never read them properly, and swarms of flying daggers ambushing those who complacently let their guards down.

Thus of all that’s been said through the years (ignore topics which are already out of syllabus), the following cannot be more relevant these days (applicable to all subjects):

  1. Should a Level 99 super-duper fireball be launched at you that you know you can’t repel, MOVE TO THE NEXT QUESTION. Let the fireball kill those who don’t. Come back when you have the time. Keep moving.
  2. Should you discovered that you got waylaid and ambushed at a seemingly routine question, jump out of the trap and MOVE TO THE NEXT QUESTION. Come back when you are not panicking. Keep moving.
  3. Should you have any spare time during the paper, make sure you use all your time to check and check and check and check and check and check and check and check and check and check and check and check and check and check and check and check and check and check and check and check and check and check and check and check and check and check and check and check and check and check and check and check and check and check and check and check and check and check and check and check and check and check and check and check and check and check and check and check and check and check and check and check and check and check … you get the idea 😉

For those aspiring to be an A1 武林盟主, you’ll have to be error-free, careless-mistake-free, and basically be … umm … perfect.

But for everyone, it’s simply time for you to

Do Your Best and
let your Fate handle the rest!

With that, she returned to her guzheng and played her third & final note of this most torturously boring song.

TWAAAAAAAAANG!!!! … … …

[Exeunt]

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