The Electric, Magnetic & Organic September Joss Sticks Smoke

[translated from Cantonese]

Quick! Say Thank You to Sifu!

Demanded the Aunty as she nudged the boy forward.

Thank-You-See-Foooooo

Came the monotonous and slightly bored response.

Hi 小强! I heard you did very well for your prelims!

*Ruffles 小强’s hair*

It’s all thanks to the Divine Deity and you, Sifu, for referring him to that Temple in June! I heard the food there is very good too!

Compliments of June

But then hor Sifu, I went through 小强’s exam scripts and discovered that he’s still a bit weak in certain topics.

For example in Physics, he tends to get those questions with light bulbs and batteries wrong. Also my poor 小强 seems a bit confused by those questions with a rod moving in and out of some “spring”, or with some wire going round and round a rod.

And for his Chemistry, he seems to have problem with those kind of questions with a lot of C-H-C-H-C-H-C-H-C-H-C-H-C-H-C. At first, I was wondering how come they were being tested on that church with that sexy accountant … but then I think it’s something else.

Lastly, he will return to the Government very quickly everything he has learned in his Social Studies!

Basically, something like that lah … what should I do???

The Sifu took out a blank piece of thin yellow paper and closed his eyes.

Let me try to communicate with The Temple regarding 小强’s condition.

He then went into a trance and began muttering …

… my High Priestess … 小强 … problems … ⚡ Electricity ⚡ current ⚡ conventional vs electron flow ⚡ resistance vs resistivity ⚡ effective resistance ⚡ emf vs potential difference ⚡ Ohms’s Law ⚡ ohmic vs non-ohmic ⚡ D.C. Circuits ⚡ series vs parallel ⚡ when to use P = I²R vs V²/R vs IV ⚡ thermistors ⚡

Soon the sky darkened as he began to write something on the piece of paper.

… 小强 … confused … ⇶ Magnetism ⇶ magnetic fields ⇶ Electromagnetism ⇶ left-hand rule vs right-hand rule ⇶ solenoid ⇶ arrows → directions → into the page ╳ out of the page ⊙ Electromagnetic Induction ⇶ induced emf vs induced current ⇶ Lenz’s Law ⇶ d.c. motor vs a.c. generator ⇶ Transformers ⇶ step up vs step down

A streak of lightning flashed across the sky …

… 小强 … lost … ⬡ Organic Chemistry ⬡ homologous series ⬡ Alkanes ⬡ Alkenes ⬡ differences in isomers ⬡ Alcohols ⬡ Carboxylic acids ⬡ Petroleum ⬡ Cracking ⬡ Fractional distillation ⬡ hydrogenation ⬡ hydration ⬡ esterification ⬡ conditions ⬡ Esters ⬡ ethyl methanoate or methyl ethanoate??? ⬡ drawings of structural formula ⬡ find the monomer in a polymer ⬡ deduce a polymer from its monomer ⬡

A deafening clap of thunder snapped his eyes open, following which he proceeded to use a butane (C₄H₁₀)-fueled lighter to set his piece of yellow paper alight, which by then was completely covered by the topics listed above.

The Aunty and 小强 then watched in amazement as the ensuing smoke from the burning paper rose upwards towards one of the incense coils hung high on the ceiling, before spiraling through it like magnetic field lines running through a solenoid.

The show was over in an instant, with the Sifu throwing what’s left of the paper and its ashes into a glass of water.

Here, drink this 小强.

It’ll clear your mind from all your misconceptions on the topics you are having trouble with.

After this, head quickly to The Temple for its ^*September Holiday intensive joss sticks sessions for Organic Chemistry, Electricity & Electromagnetism – the very topics you are having trouble with as they were not covered during their June Holiday joss sticks sessions (due to a lack of time).

Hurry, as your O Levels are just a month away and 小华, 小明 and 小亮 are already there!

Oh and while you are there, please help me wish the High Priestess a

Happy Teachers’ Day!!!

P.S. Drinking a mixture of ash is NOT required when signing-up for these intensive sessions 😛

頑張って!!!

Miss Loi