2009
Fri
12
Jun
Miss Loi avatar
Miss Loi's Facebook profile Follow Miss Loi on Twitter!

The Little Tutor: Prelude

(4)
Tuition given in the topic of Miss Loi the Tutor from the tuition centre desk of Miss Loi at 11:11 pm (Singapore time)

She said she wanna follow your footsteps and become a tutor - can shop & shop and no office politics!

The student's parent's SMS arrived while Miss Loi was doing some housekeeping of her email inbox, when she chanced upon one of a number of old emails along the lines of ...

Hi Miss Loi,

I am toying with the idea of private tuition. I wish to seek your advise as to how did you start out as a private tutor? What steps did you take to become so successful? I am a Math tutor myself ...

That brought a moment of reflection, as she slowly looked up from her 56.com & MySoju-cluttered laptop screen to stare out of her window into the night, where faint constellations in the sky slowly gave way to a scene from the years gone by ...

.
.
.

... a phantasmagoric scene of endless rows of trees repeated itself like the rapidly flipping pages of a book, as she looked out with dreary eyes from the dusty window at the back of the car, with the lingering taste of that last meal of Bak Kut Teh still fresh in the mouth.

你睡多一陣啦。再多幾個鐘頭就到啦。

ENGLISH SUBTITLES: You go catch some sleep. We'll be there in a few hours.

said Dad as his latest dare-devil attempt to overtake the stubborn truck ahead failed in the face of oncoming traffic in the narrow pothole-ridden two-lane 'highway'.

So she closed her eyes again, and subsequently lost count of the number of times she drifted in and out of sleep, haunted by vivid scenes from the previous toilet break that resembled some grand WWII naval battle, awaking each time to be greeted by the same shuttering sequence of trees, the same endless bumpy highway, with the same stubborn truck still ahead.

To be continued ...

頑張って!!!


2009
Tue
2
Jun
Miss Loi avatar
Miss Loi's Facebook profile Follow Miss Loi on Twitter!

The Temple Gates Are Ajar

(7)
Tuition given in the topic of Miss Loi the Tutor from the tuition centre desk of Miss Loi at 4:59 pm (Singapore time)
The Loot
The Loot

Manic May has come and gone.

The 2009 exam papers have been launched. Miss Loi's annual shopping is done (and consequently missing the entire run of 书包太重). And the evil Crouching Terrorist has finally been caught, clearing the Causeway of the jams that have so often plagued Miss Loi's JB hair salon appointments in the past year.

More importantly though, the Mids are over, and cartoon characters have begun appearing in places like United Square to bluff children, as hordes of families plan to invade our neighbouring country and cause fresh Causeway jams that will make Miss Loi late for her JB hair salon appointments again.

Many thanks for your coaching. Scored 86 marks for her maths paper!

Of the Mids, news of little 'miracles' concerning groups of supposedly-'weak' students (some previously from the Normal Stream and all that jazz etc.) have reached The Temple at this half-way point.

Hi Ms Loi, I would like to express my gratitude to you for helping her score 81 for Maths.

But Miss Loi doesn't really see them as miracles though, as unbeknown to them, they all possess the same simple traits in their DNA, i.e. they've all been hardworking and willing to listen in class, and most importantly, they constantly did their correction and made sure they 100% confirm chop stamp understand their own mistakes in each problem before moving on to the next.

Math was her lowest subject in term 1, but highest in term 2. From 49 to 78!

Conversely though, the Mids have also traditionally throw up instances of bad miracles, when flocks of birds took flight from nearby trees, and glasses of water dropped to the floor from trembling hands, and the Sun got suddenly eclipsed as the world mourned in utter disbelief in dark moments when charming straight-As students found themselves impossibly plunged into unfamiliar EPIC FAIL territory.

But Miss Loi doesn't find these cases surprising either, for unbeknown to them, their elite DNA has mostly mutated overtime to exhibit one or more of the following traits i.e.

COMPLACENT Go through motion; "OK lah! Can one lah! I understand!"; Only do 'a bit of work' in class; Drawing stupid pictures of Miss Loi in class (see below) LAZY Lazy to re-do questions on their own after tutor/teacher's explanation; Never bother to practice again those questions where mistakes have been made EXCUSES "I'm very busy! I have a lot of tests! I have no time for homework!"; "My Cher never teach properly! Only rushed through that topic!" ESCAPISM Left BLANK or anyhow do those questions that are stuck in - and continue to be left BLANK till end of time; Continue to focus only in strong topics - stubborn refusal to focus on poor topics; Thought the MORE you do the BETTER grades you'll get - but never really understood why you couldn't do certain questions POOR FOUNDATION Whole day studying Sec Three/Four chapters - Sec One/Two topics NEGLECTED KAN CHEONG Panic attack on the day ...

Don't worry - the chunk of text above is most certainly NOT required for your exams!
Miss Celine Loi
Luckily they got the figure right (sort of),
or else ...

In any case, now that Joyous June is here to bring a false dawn of sunshine after the Mids (with the sinister O-Levels less than 5 months away (with prelims even earlier)), and that Miss Loi has finally had enough of shopping (for now), she has decided to valiantly offering her time body and soul in flexible daily slots for her 2009 June Holiday Revision Jφss Sticks Sessions from 2 to 28 June - to right all the wrongs, to kill all your "My Cher never teach properly!!!" excuses, to correct all the −5 − 5 = 0s, and to vaccinate all mutated DNAs before the dreaded LMBFH Syndrome sets in:

Miss Loi’s June Holiday Revision Jφss Sticks Sessions (2-28 June 2009)

Lesson Times:  
Mondays-Fridays 10.00am-12.00pm
12.30-2.30pm
3.00-5.00pm
5.00-7.00pm
Saturdays 10.00am-12.00pm (Sec 3/4) FULL (blocked for existing students)
12.30-2.30pm (Sec 1/2) FULL (blocked for existing students)
3.00-5.00pm (Sec 3/4) FULL (blocked for existing students)
5.00-7.00pm (Sec 3/4) FULL (blocked for existing students)
Sundays 10.00am-12.00pm (Sec 1/2) FULL (blocked for existing students)
12.30-2.30pm (Sec 3/4) FULL (blocked for existing students)
3.00-5.00pm (Sec 3/4) FULL (blocked for existing students)
5.00-7.00pm (Sec 3/4) FULL (blocked for existing students)
Venue: Miss Loi’s Temple
Class Size: Exclusive to 6-8 students/class
Duration/Session: 2 hours
Included: Drinks and light snacks
Miss Loi’s fabled Exam Papers + elusive Ten-Year Series questions
School uniform is optional (but still must wear something okay!)

More details on the updated Schedule Page ...

As usual, these revision tuition sessions will cater to those of you who're looking to revise, firm up your foundation, catch-up with your peers, start from scratch, know more girls etc. during this June Holiday. To ensure that every single participant will receive Miss Loi's maximum tender loving care, each session is limited to a maximum of eight students.

So please contact Miss Loi now to assure yourself of an intense "赴汤蹈火" salvational experience this June, but please note that these extra slots are for the June holidays ONLY, and that new students attending these sessions may NOT be guaranteed places in her regularly weekly sessions when Semester II resumes.

*Cracks knuckles*

頑張って!!!


2009
Sun
24
May
Miss Loi avatar
Miss Loi's Facebook profile Follow Miss Loi on Twitter!

The Ikebukuro Incident (池袋事件)

(13)
Tuition given in the topic of Study Break from the tuition centre desk of Miss Loi at 7:46 pm (Singapore time)

ONCE AGAIN, the schedule could have been kinder.

Ungodly Flight

For if it was, Miss Loi wouldn't have to catch another flight departing in an ungodly hour - a flight that made her sleep throughout like there was no tomorrow, causing her to miss out on all the in-flight luxuries like "Coffee or tea?", "Would you like seafood or chicken?", "Hot towel? Hot towel?" etc.

Ninjas
Ninjas, H1N1 Clan
Oasis

When she arrived at her destination, she proceeded to 'ninja-fy' herself with a mask smuggled provided courtesy of Little Miss Loi. Thereafter she suddenly felt a severe bout of thirst, as all those missed "coffee or tea?" began to take its toll.

Journey

Thus she rushed towards the nearest oasis of a vending machine, to buy and GULP down an entire bottle of unknown pastel-coloured liquid, and took along another bottle for the subsequent hour-long train journey.

Lovely scenes of Spring flashed before her eyes as the train made its way to town, with Miss Loi constantly taking sips of her drink as she stared at the passing scenes in a dreamy manner.

When she finally stepped out of the train station, she realized that she appeared to be the only one wearing a mask in town ...

Ikebukuro Train Station
Bochup?

More critically, however, she realized that her bottle of drink had been sipped dry, and that's when she also realized that she had grossly miscalculated the holding volume of her ... umm ... bladder.

With nary a toilet in sight, things got a bit desperate. She knew she had to get to the guesthouse fast - the only place she's certain a toilet exists - before the floodgates opened.

And thus began the longest catwalk the streets of Tokyo have ever witnessed, as Miss Loi sashayed her way like a geisha past rows and rows of teeny jewelry stalls ...

Jewelry

Maintaining the agonizing poise of walking as fast as possible while keeping her steps as small as possible to ensure a ZERO rate of change of the liquid level in her ... umm ... overflowing bladder, she found herself stared at by this weirdo aunty ...

Weirdo Aunty

Guesthouse

Slowly but surely though, her frantic geisha steps finally brought her to the guesthouse, where she wasted no time in throwing her still-5 kg luggage into her miniscule room, and rushed into the grateful toilet (just when things started to get a little 'leaky') to burst open the floodgates put an end to the ordeal ...

Japanese Cistern

The End 劇終
Yokoso!
SHOPPING STARTS NOW!

Japan Flag

Gone Shopping! Miss Loi is currently on her annual hiatus in Japan from 23-27 May.

For enquiries, please SMS or email missloi [at] exampaper [dot] com [dot] sg during this period and she will try to get back to you as soon as she can.

Apologies in advance for any inconvenience caused and she seeks your kind understanding if she's a little slow in replying during this period.

頑張って!!!


2009
Sun
17
May
Miss Loi avatar
Miss Loi's Facebook profile Follow Miss Loi on Twitter!

The Myeong-dong Incident (明洞事件)

(7)
Tuition given in the topic of Study Break from the tuition centre desk of Miss Loi at 2:58 pm (Singapore time)

If only the Mid-Year exams for some schools didn't stretch so late into May, Miss Loi wouldn't need to have an extra class on Friday. And she wouldn't need to have rushed out of the house early, and ended up forgetting to bring along her NRIC.

This made her went back home to retrieve it before she hit the road, and that's when she realized she'd forgotten her Nokia phone charger - which resulted in a great U-turn along the BKE as she rushed back home again to get the charger, leading to her arriving late for class.

Last Call ...
Last call ...

That made the class end late, and made Miss Loi rush to the airport, and made her run into that family who tried to cut her queue at the check-in counter.

If only Popeyes didn't make her wait >10 mins for the fried chicken, she wouldn't have to munch munch munch quickly through her lunch in order to reach the gate before it closed, and ended up with a burpy stomach.

If only they weren't showing the insanely hilarious Handsome Suit on the flight, Miss Loi wouldn't have missed the chance to catch some sleep.

Hong Kong Airport Shuttle
Thomas & Friends

If only the flight schedule was more favourable, Miss Loi wouldn't need to spend four hours in the wee hours going round and round Hong Kong's cavernous airport shopping and buying stuff that ... umm ... she doesn't really need.

If only Hong Kong's airport isn't that cavernous, and her next plane wasn't parked at Gate 33, she wouldn't have to fork out HK$50 for the Thomas & Friends-like shuttle transport to Gate 33, since Gates 1-32 were all within walking distance :-?

If only there's no swine flu H1N1, Miss Loi wouldn't have needed that flu jab two weeks back, and the passenger next to her wouldn't have worn a mask on her face, and Miss Loi wouldn't have kept stealing glances at her, and got held up a long time for temperature checks when she arrived at her destination.

Boarding Soon!

If only she'd known that they had inexplicably taken her luggage off the conveyor belt and placed them on the floor, a by-now-zombiefied Miss Loi wouldn't have waited an eternity like a forlorn figure on the opposite end of the belt for her bags that never came.

If only Incheon Airport is located nearer to town, Miss Loi wouldn't have to endure another one-hour plus bus ride to her part of town.

If only Yahoo Weather didn't play her out, she would've put on more layers when she stepped out of the airport. Brrr ...

Myeong Dong Station
Finally!

If only the guesthouse's check-in time wasn't so rigidly set at 2pm (she arrived at 7am), she wouldn't have busted two-thirds of her entire budget within three hours of shopping at Dongdaemun to kill time. *gulp*

And lastly, if only Korean keyboards weren't so confusing to use, this blog post might have been out earlier.

Unnamed Korean Dish
Anyone knows the name of this dish?

An Nyoung Ha Seh Yo 안녕하세요!

*Drops dead*

South Korea Flag

Gone Shopping! Miss Loi is currently on her annual hiatus in Korea (SOUTH Korea, NOT North!) from 15-20 May.

For enquiries, please SMS or email
missloi [at] exampaper [dot] com [dot] sg during this period and she will try to get back to you as soon as she can.

Apologies in advance for any inconvenience caused and she seeks your kind understanding if she's a little slow in replying during this period.

頑張って!!!


2009
Mon
4
May
Miss Loi avatar
Miss Loi's Facebook profile Follow Miss Loi on Twitter!

Salvation For The Masses

(5)
Tuition given in the topic of Miss Loi's Exam Papers from the tuition centre desk of Miss Loi at 10:47 pm (Singapore time)

Under a pale grey sky he stood, by the busy pedestrian crossing in front of Bras Basah Complex, oblivious to the passing group of cutie schoolgirls as he reflected on yet another wasted trip there in search of those elusive Ten-Year Series.

In a dark empty classroom she sat, hanging her head in despair after being outscored yet again by that foreign cyborg in the latest maths test, as she desperately sought for more difficult and trickier sets of questions that will hopefully lead her to victory in the next test.

In a chaotic study room he raged, with eyes like those of a madman as he screamed for more to satisfy his insatiable thirst for math questions, having finished every known assessment book that was ever published, plus all the Ten-Year Series from 10.000 B.C. to 2008 A.D.

And on a messy desk she wept, wondering when will she be able to make sense of the maths questions, despite going through them a many times and still getting them wrong every time.

All of them had a wish in common ...


Meanwhile, the skies above were suddenly filled with a large flock of white doves, carrying the Word to all corners of the land - that THEY are finally here ...

Miss Loi's 2009 Exam Papers with Full Worked Solutions

*************** START OF ADVERTORIAL ***************

And so after nights upon nights, months upon months of toiling at The Temple, Miss Loi's 2009 Exam Papers are finally released!

Used regularly by Miss Loi in her Jφss Sticks Sessions, these series of more than 3000 Sec One/Two/Three/O Level Mathematics questions carefully hand-picked & adapted from actual tests/exams of top schools in Singapore are now available to help everyone overcome the lack of Ten-Year Series, spot the recurring trends & patterns in exams, beat your class foreign cyborg, and satisfy the maths question fetish of all students out there.

And what's more, they now come complete with FULL STEP-BY-STEP WORKED SOLUTIONS to make your salvation process just a little bit more painless!

So what are you waiting for???! Sign up for a free account and preview the papers today!

*************** END OF ADVERTORIAL ***************

And thus their wishes are fulfilled, and salvation finally extended to the masses.

Time to take a break.

頑張って!!!