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Biological Warfare At The Temple Gates

Tuition given in the topic of Miss Loi's Temple aka Joss Sticks Tuition Centre from the tuition centre desk of Little Miss Loi at 9:44 pm (Singapore time)
Mitigation Phase
"Mitigation" Phase


As we're reportedly now in the last leg of the great H1N1 fight (even though Singapore should have well beyond 1000 cases by now), it's time to remove the irrelevant list of affected countries from the notice.

In these dangerous times when an unseen enemy threatens to extend everyone's June holidays, the grave-looking Biological Specialist of The Temple has issued the following urgent announcement (especially for those of you returning from your tour to some exotic location or have been partying illegally in some club disguised as a dairy product manfacturer etc.):

Unseen Enemy At The Temple Gates

In addition, all visitors/students at The Temple are advised to adhere to good personal & environmental hygiene practices (which you should have been doing all along anyway) i.e.

  • Wash your hands thoroughly with soap and water before & after class
  • Avoid physical contact (e.g. hugging one another emotionally after solving a difficult problem) whenever possible
  • Look away and cover your nose & mouth with a tissue whenever you cough or sneeze
  • Refrain from disgusting acts like leaving used tissues on the table, wiping your germ-infected hands on books/chairs/eyes/mouths/nose/anything/anyone you can (literally) lay your dirty hands on ... ewwwww ... :(

We seek your kind cooperation for the sake of everyone's well-being, and to preempt the possibility of The Temple having to re-locate to some far-flung resort where, as Miss Loi was told, there's no Starhub Cable TV which means that she will miss at least a week's worth of the Channel 55/255 娱家戏剧台 VV dramas!


Jubilent Hong Kong Students
Will we see the same unbridled joy like
those on the faces of these Hong Kong students?

P.S. Speaking of extending the school holidays, after being questioned an umpteenth time by her students on whether she has any "insider info" on this matter, Miss Loi actually went to ask a teacher friend of hers ...

Miss Loi: "Eh cher, do you know if the June holidays will be extended? Shouldn't they have announced it by now if it's true?"

Mean Teacher Friend: "Aiyoh Miss Loi, please use your BRAIN lah! I thought you very smart one?"



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Going Away ...

Tuition given in the topic of Miss Loi the Tutor from the tuition centre desk of Miss Loi at 1:37 am (Singapore time)

Unfortunately, the ongoing period drama The Little Tutor has to be interrupted as Miss Loi needs to rush to Hong Kong due to a family emergency.

Hong Kong Emergency

She's probably somewhere over the South China Sea by the time you read this.

Miss Loi will be back on Saturday (20 June). Till then please contact her via email at Miss Loi's Email for all enquiries, and she seeks your kind understanding if she's unable to reply you during the next two days.

Don't think there'll be any mood for shopping this time :(

P.S. All of Miss Loi's classes from Thursday to Friday (18-19 June) have been postponed and all affected students (should) have been notified. Rest of the classes at The Temple (incl. Mr Loi's & Little Miss Loi's) are not affected and will proceed as normal.

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The Little Tutor: Preparations

Tuition given in the topic of Miss Loi the Tutor from the tuition centre desk of Miss Loi at 9:40 am (Singapore time)

... previously ...

A new heavy-metal song called "Oh Sweet Charles, Oh My" (at least that's what she made of it) blared from the hastily-tuned radio station in the car stereo, after Dad had finally grown sick of listening to his Teresa Teng cassette tape for the past hours.

By now, the rows of trees had turned into endless ranks of towering, faceless buildings, stretching away to the horizon like silent sentinels of the land. The narrow highway had widened into an immaculately paved Expressway on which her car sped along into the heart of her destination, as she marveled at how shiny the cars around her were (in contrast to the one she was in).

It was almost evening by the time they reached their randomly-chosen hotel, and after a quick meal, they retired to their room.

Sleep early tonight. You may need to sit for an exam tomorrow.

And tucked in she did, but not before catching a glimpse of Dad flipping through a thick yellow phone directory and making a flurry of last-minute phone calls (LMBFH-style) to various schools, housing agents etc. etc.

For in those days with no Internet, with no mobile phones, but with sky-high IDD rates and a whole lot of clueless people, it can be rather difficult to plan things in advance.

And with no knowledge of the huge collection of assessment books at Bras Basah Complex, Miss Loi couldn't have been more adequately prepared for what may very well be the most important exam yet in her little life.

To be continued ...


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The Little Tutor: Prelude

Tuition given in the topic of Miss Loi the Tutor from the tuition centre desk of Miss Loi at 11:11 pm (Singapore time)

She said she wanna follow your footsteps and become a tutor - can shop & shop and no office politics!

The student's parent's SMS arrived while Miss Loi was doing some housekeeping of her email inbox, when she chanced upon one of a number of old emails along the lines of ...

Hi Miss Loi,

I am toying with the idea of private tuition. I wish to seek your advise as to how did you start out as a private tutor? What steps did you take to become so successful? I am a Math tutor myself ...

That brought a moment of reflection, as she slowly looked up from her 56.com & MySoju-cluttered laptop screen to stare out of her window into the night, where faint constellations in the sky slowly gave way to a scene from the years gone by ...


... a phantasmagoric scene of endless rows of trees repeated itself like the rapidly flipping pages of a book, as she looked out with dreary eyes from the dusty window at the back of the car, with the lingering taste of that last meal of Bak Kut Teh still fresh in the mouth.


ENGLISH SUBTITLES: You go catch some sleep. We'll be there in a few hours.

said Dad as his latest dare-devil attempt to overtake the stubborn truck ahead failed in the face of oncoming traffic in the narrow pothole-ridden two-lane 'highway'.

So she closed her eyes again, and subsequently lost count of the number of times she drifted in and out of sleep, haunted by vivid scenes from the previous toilet break that resembled some grand WWII naval battle, awaking each time to be greeted by the same shuttering sequence of trees, the same endless bumpy highway, with the same stubborn truck still ahead.

To be continued ...


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The Temple Gates Are Ajar

Tuition given in the topic of Miss Loi the Tutor from the tuition centre desk of Miss Loi at 4:59 pm (Singapore time)
The Loot
The Loot

Manic May has come and gone.

The 2009 exam papers have been launched. Miss Loi's annual shopping is done (and consequently missing the entire run of 书包太重). And the evil Crouching Terrorist has finally been caught, clearing the Causeway of the jams that have so often plagued Miss Loi's JB hair salon appointments in the past year.

More importantly though, the Mids are over, and cartoon characters have begun appearing in places like United Square to bluff children, as hordes of families plan to invade our neighbouring country and cause fresh Causeway jams that will make Miss Loi late for her JB hair salon appointments again.

Many thanks for your coaching. Scored 86 marks for her maths paper!

Of the Mids, news of little 'miracles' concerning groups of supposedly-'weak' students (some previously from the Normal Stream and all that jazz etc.) have reached The Temple at this half-way point.

Hi Ms Loi, I would like to express my gratitude to you for helping her score 81 for Maths.

But Miss Loi doesn't really see them as miracles though, as unbeknown to them, they all possess the same simple traits in their DNA, i.e. they've all been hardworking and willing to listen in class, and most importantly, they constantly did their correction and made sure they 100% confirm chop stamp understand their own mistakes in each problem before moving on to the next.

Math was her lowest subject in term 1, but highest in term 2. From 49 to 78!

Conversely though, the Mids have also traditionally throw up instances of bad miracles, when flocks of birds took flight from nearby trees, and glasses of water dropped to the floor from trembling hands, and the Sun got suddenly eclipsed as the world mourned in utter disbelief in dark moments when charming straight-As students found themselves impossibly plunged into unfamiliar EPIC FAIL territory.

But Miss Loi doesn't find these cases surprising either, for unbeknown to them, their elite DNA has mostly mutated overtime to exhibit one or more of the following traits i.e.

COMPLACENT Go through motion; "OK lah! Can one lah! I understand!"; Only do 'a bit of work' in class; Drawing stupid pictures of Miss Loi in class (see below) LAZY Lazy to re-do questions on their own after tutor/teacher's explanation; Never bother to practice again those questions where mistakes have been made EXCUSES "I'm very busy! I have a lot of tests! I have no time for homework!"; "My Cher never teach properly! Only rushed through that topic!" ESCAPISM Left BLANK or anyhow do those questions that are stuck in - and continue to be left BLANK till end of time; Continue to focus only in strong topics - stubborn refusal to focus on poor topics; Thought the MORE you do the BETTER grades you'll get - but never really understood why you couldn't do certain questions POOR FOUNDATION Whole day studying Sec Three/Four chapters - Sec One/Two topics NEGLECTED KAN CHEONG Panic attack on the day ...

Don't worry - the chunk of text above is most certainly NOT required for your exams!
Miss Celine Loi
Luckily they got the figure right (sort of),
or else ...

In any case, now that Joyous June is here to bring a false dawn of sunshine after the Mids (with the sinister O-Levels less than 5 months away (with prelims even earlier)), and that Miss Loi has finally had enough of shopping (for now), she has decided to valiantly offering her time body and soul in flexible daily slots for her 2009 June Holiday Revision Jφss Sticks Sessions from 2 to 28 June - to right all the wrongs, to kill all your "My Cher never teach properly!!!" excuses, to correct all the −5 − 5 = 0s, and to vaccinate all mutated DNAs before the dreaded LMBFH Syndrome sets in:

Miss Loi’s June Holiday Revision Jφss Sticks Sessions (2-28 June 2009)

Lesson Times:  
Mondays-Fridays 10.00am-12.00pm
Saturdays 10.00am-12.00pm (Sec 3/4) FULL (blocked for existing students)
12.30-2.30pm (Sec 1/2) FULL (blocked for existing students)
3.00-5.00pm (Sec 3/4) FULL (blocked for existing students)
5.00-7.00pm (Sec 3/4) FULL (blocked for existing students)
Sundays 10.00am-12.00pm (Sec 1/2) FULL (blocked for existing students)
12.30-2.30pm (Sec 3/4) FULL (blocked for existing students)
3.00-5.00pm (Sec 3/4) FULL (blocked for existing students)
5.00-7.00pm (Sec 3/4) FULL (blocked for existing students)
Venue: Miss Loi’s Temple
Class Size: Exclusive to 6-8 students/class
Duration/Session: 2 hours
Included: Drinks and light snacks
Miss Loi’s fabled Exam Papers + elusive Ten-Year Series questions
School uniform is optional (but still must wear something okay!)

More details on the updated Schedule Page ...

As usual, these revision tuition sessions will cater to those of you who're looking to revise, firm up your foundation, catch-up with your peers, start from scratch, know more girls etc. during this June Holiday. To ensure that every single participant will receive Miss Loi's maximum tender loving care, each session is limited to a maximum of eight students.

So please contact Miss Loi now to assure yourself of an intense "赴汤蹈火" salvational experience this June, but please note that these extra slots are for the June holidays ONLY, and that new students attending these sessions may NOT be guaranteed places in her regularly weekly sessions when Semester II resumes.

*Cracks knuckles*