Miss Loi avatar

Miss Loi 日本日記 – You stare at me I stare at you. You push me I push you.

Tuition given in the topic of Study Break from the desk of Miss Loi at 4:46 pm (Singapore time)

Updated on

By sheer coincidence, the Grand Sumo Tournament was taking place in Fukuoka when Miss Loi was there in November.

Nobori Flags

Colourful Nobori banners present at every tournament

Sumo is a bit of a national obsession in Japan, the only place in the world where you find fashionably kawaii teenage schoolgirls idolizing and cheering their hearts out for their favourite real-life 蜡笔小新-lookalike.

Kawaii Fan

As kawaii as they get –
within range of Miss Loi’s 35-70mm zoom lens

And Grand Tournaments are … umm … grand affairs that are commercially important enough to earn them coveted primetime slots on national TV alongside Japanese dramas and crappy talkshows.

Sumo Race Queens

Traditional way of sponsorship advertising,
way before the advent of Formula One and race queens.

So in a vain attempt to relive her days as a fashionably kawaii schoolgirl out of sheer curiosity, Miss Loi found herself by the ringside.


That purple cushion has a critical role to play. Later.

However, not being a particularly sporty person (the most active she’ll ever get is during a major Sale), and still not being able to unravel the mystery of the Offside Rule, Miss Loi was a little apprehensive that her cheapest ¥3600 ticket would be wasted by her inability to understand the rules of yet another alien sport.


¥3600 down the drain

Eventually, her fears were unfounded as sumo wrestling turned out to be THE easiest sport ever to understand. As it turned out, all those you-stare-at-me-I-stare-at-you-push-me-I-push-you boils down to this: whoever first touches the ground with any part of his body other than his feet, or steps out of the ring, loses.

Salt Ritual

Throwing salt to ‘purify’ the ring.
Probably to rub salt into fallen opponent as well.

In fact, Miss Loi found a sumo bout similar to that of an O-Level student’s journey.

Before each bout, she was subjected to an eternity of you-stare-at-me-I-stare-at-you where each contestant tries to intimidate his opponent by slapping his middle-aged tummy, stomping his feet, and probably shooting some invisible laser beam from his eyes, and the excitement’s supposed to build up during this period.

Sumo Spanking

Somehow everyone’s posture in this pic looks so … wrong.

But just like the neverending tests and mock exams that often succeed in demoralizing students building up teachers’ and parents’ excitement before the actual O-Level exam, all the staring in the world has NO bearing on the final result.

Feet Stomping Ritual

Feet stomping –
No marks will be awarded even if you made a hole in the ring.

And just like your decisive O-Level paper which is over before you even know it, the actual bout with all that you-push-me-I-push-you is usually over in less than a minute.

Everything In A Blur

It’ll be over before you even get to put on your specs.

And like every subject that we take, there’s always a trick to it.

Taking a page from the Physics syllabus, it’s obvious that whoever possesses the bigger

Force (F) = Mass (m) X Acceleration (a)

will stand a better chance of winning.

Given that there’s NO weight categorization in sumo, and that there’s a limit to how much can one accelerate (a) in such a puny ring, contestants (probably through their own Zen-like joss sticks sessions) have done their algebra through the centuries and realize they have to increase their masses (m) to maximize their chances – hence the biggest congregation of 肥仔s Miss Loi has ever witnessed.

Sumo Nation

Sumo Nation!

As with most school subjects, just when Miss Loi thought she knew it all, she saw this strange entry in her copy of the SUMO QUICK GUIDE that came with her ticket (and you really thought she figured it all out by herself?):

Throwing is very dangerous

Click to enlarge

Now why would any well-mannered Japanese wanna throw away his/her comfy cushion into the ring?

Answer can be found at around the 1:30 mark of this clip:

BTW that was the most exciting bout of the day. If only the cushions were made of better quality, then Miss Loi would’ve taken a few back to The Temple 😛


Revision Exercise

To show that you have understood what Miss Loi just taught you from the centre, you must:

  1. Leave A Comment!
Comments & Reactions


  1. Horny Ang Moh's Avatar
    Horny Ang Moh commented in tuition class


    F=mass X speed???? Now I wander! I weight 96kg & my speed is about 2meters per second..........That meant the force is ...........????
    Is that how much force I bang into gf!!!!
    No wander my bed break! Nowaday the floor is the best! Too poor to buy new bed!
    He! He! The speed is just an estimate! I think it is higher then that!
    Tq for this equation but I do appreciated if u can work out the amount of force I 'product! Tq tq very much!
    Have a nice day!

  2. Miss Loi's Avatar
    Miss Loi Friend Miss Loi on Facebook @MissLoi commented in tuition class


    Calm down calm down Hum Sup HAM!

    Umm ... it's acceleration not speed so if your speed is constant ⇒ acceleration = 0, which means that regardless of whether you're 9kg or 96kg or 1 tonne, the force is ZERO!

    Think your poor bed broke coz it simply couldn't support your 肥仔 weight anymore - nothing to do with your 'speed' lah. Tsk.

  3. FoxTwo's Avatar
    FoxTwo commented in tuition class



    Thank gawd my weight and acceleration still remains a secret... I would've blurted it all out if HAM hadn't been the guinea pig 😀

  4. Horny Ang Moh's Avatar
    Horny Ang Moh commented in tuition class


    Oh!!!! I see it is the acceleration! U meant like o-100kph !!! in how many sec??? Now let me work that out..........I gave up my maths too poor! U work out my speed can or not.....Lets me see pokeing distance is about 10 inches ( movement in & out ) at about 20 bang per minute ( could be higher )! And my weight is 96kg so can u help me to work out the 'force' I generated!!!
    Tq tq for ur help & caculation! I am sure ur students will be most interest to know this information!
    Oh! Fox 2 I am not a guinea pig lah! He! He! I am a big 'fellow'!!!
    Have a nice day!

  5. Horny Ang Moh's Avatar
    Horny Ang Moh commented in tuition class


    Oh sorry forget to add in. The acceleration is from 5 bangs per minutes then increased to 20 bangs per minutes in the space of 5 minutes! He! He! Hope u can work out the 'force' I produced! Tq tq very very much!
    Have a nice day!

  6. Miss Loi's Avatar
    Miss Loi Friend Miss Loi on Facebook @MissLoi commented in tuition class



    Topics to cover: Forces & Mechanics, Kinematics
    Location: TBC
    Description: Hopelessly lost and confused student whose mind may be irreversibly damaged by activities beginning with the letter 'P'.
    Remarks: Potential tutor needs to be mentally prepared for extreme mental trauma. Prior experience in dealing with oversized kids weighing 96kg will be advantageous.

  7. Horny Ang Moh's Avatar
    Horny Ang Moh commented in tuition class


    Wah! Ha! Ha! Ha! So this is a physic subject!! No math arrrr??? ( Very disappointed that maths teacher can't work out the answer )
    Have a nice day!

Post a Comment

  • * Required field
  • Your email will never, ever be published nor shared with a Nigerian banker or a pharmaceutical company.
  • Spam filter in operation.
    DO NOT re-submit if your comment doesn't appear.
  • Spammers often suffer terrible fates.

Impress Miss Loi with beautiful mathematical equations in your comment by enclosing them within alluring \LaTeX [tex][/tex] tags (syntax guide | online editor), or the older [pmath][/pmath] tags (syntax guide). Please PREVIEW your equations before posting!


Whatsapp Instagram Twitter Facebook Close Search Login Access RSS Joss Sticks Sessions Suggested Solutions Preview O Level Additional Mathematics O Level Elementary Mathematics Secondary Three Additional Mathematics Secondary Three Elementary Mathematics Secondary Two Mathematics Secondary One Mathematics Additional Mathematics 4038 Additional Mathematics 4018 Elementary Mathematics 4017 Virus Zoom Date Modified Address Telephone 非常に人気の Popular Slot! Cart Exam Paper Cart