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About Time …

Tuition given in the topic of Miss Loi's Temple aka Joss Sticks Tuition Centre from the desk of Miss Loi at 9:50 pm (Singapore time)

The ongoing 讲华语 dan cakap cakap Melayu O Level oral exams traditionally signals that the business-end of the academic season is near – when Singapore schools’ kiasu 1st/2nd/3rd/nth prelims/mock exams etc. lie just around the corner (if they haven’t already started).

This is also the time when the customary horde of Last-Minute Buddha Foot Huggers begin to amass, shed their procrastinating tendencies, and miraculously transform themselves into efficient individuals adopting the Seven Habits of Highly Effective People – as they proactively pick up the phone and call (with THE END very much in mind) …


Hi is this Miss Loi? Do you still have any tuition vacancy?

Miss Loi I’m so sorry, our tuition slots are currently full.


Hi Miss Loi, I scored F9 in my last exam. Are you able to cover everything from scratch from Sec One to Sec Four maths within three weeks till my prelims?

Miss Loi I would like to help you but I’m sorry as we’re currently full.


Miss Loi! I failed my mids big-time! Can you cover everything (I mean EVERYTHING) within one month?!! However I can only make it for tuition on Sundays. Maybe Thursdays too if my school remedial schedule permits …

Miss Loi I’m sorry we’re full.


Miss Loi do you teach Chemistry/Biology/Combined Sciences/Geography/History/English/Literature/POA/D & T/Chinese/Malay/Tamil/<insert your “favorite” subject here>?

Miss Loi No, and sorry we’re full.


Miss Loi can you teach me maths online though a computer screen?

Miss Loi That’s a nice idea but sorry we’re full.


Miss Loi, can you do my homework for me?

Miss Loi NO! Happy belated April Fools BTW …


*mournful voice* Miss Loi … I dunno algebra … can I pass? *sob*

Miss Loi Sorry we’re full.

*rings again*

*insecure voice* Miss Loi … just do TYS confirm can pass right? …

Miss Loi Sorry we’re full.



Miss Loi Sorry we’re full!



Suddenly, the lights dimmed and a clap of thunder reverberated through The Temple, as a long-forgotten Darth Vader-ish Voice sent a chill down Miss Loi’s spine from the other side of the phone.

My Sexy Maths Tutor!

Build for thyself a bigger Temple, for that which thy have is too small!

Immediately, like a maths tutor possessed, Miss Loi cancelled her hair salon appointment to relook at her (perpetually-FULL) tuition class schedule

More to follow …


Revision Exercise

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