Miss Loi 日本日記 – A Tragic Tale Of A Hot Steamy Session In A Hot Steamy Town

With her sexy legs feeling numb from days of traveling and walking, Miss Loi was glad that Beppu was just a little more than a hour’s train ride away from Fukuoka.

Beppu (別府 – not to be confused with the hot and spicy ramen chain of the same name), is arguably one of THE hot spring capitals of the world, where the town is literally sitting on hundreds (if not thousands) of steaming hot springs, and the air literally filled with a … umm … ‘farty’ smell.

Steamy Beppu, as seen from bus

Every manhole, drain, nook and cranny serves as a potential escape route for the ubiquitous underground steam waiting to release its pent-up frustration for being trapped underground for so long.

Yet another hotspring lies hidden under this?

Looking at scenes like this, Miss Loi does pity the local firemen in the event of an emergency, for it’s rather difficult to tell if all the smoke is coming from a real fire, or just another irritating hotspring.

The House … The House is on fire!

The bus interchange is on fire!

The temple is on fire!

Sad reminder of one of those they missed.

Anyway, back to the sexy numb legs. Miss Loi didn’t come all the way here just to have a typical run-of-the-mill bathe-and-soak onsen session. So she took a bus to the hills for something a little special …

Beppu Hoyo Land!

A hot steamy detoxicating mud bath hidden in a valley!

Exclusivity = Photography prohibited

Similar to Eastcoastlife 大姐’s Korean bathhouse experience, all customers have to be completely in the nude when using the facilities.

Yes that’s right, stark naked. Not even that favourite tiny G-string or T-string of yours.

Being an extremely shy and demure lady brought up in a traditionally conservative society, even a sexy maths tutor can be a little apprehensive at the prospect of showing off her … umm … whatever to complete strangers.

The ladies-only chamber that was Miss Loi’s sanctuary

Whatever apprehension she had evaporated as soon as she immersed herself in the first of the boiling mud baths. It was pure heavenly bliss as the hot steam and the boiling mud took away her fatigue, her worries and her disappointment at FoxTwo’s bogus credit cards.

Moreover, everyone in the ladies-only room from the sweet youngs things with their impossible figures (that put Miss Loi’s to shame) to the aunties with their … umm … nevermind … was nonchalant about the mass nudity that was on display – and that helped Miss Loi settle down pretty quickly, though she felt a little relieved that she wasn’t with anyone she knew at that time.

They can never, ever spell INFORMATION correctly.

However of all the spas in town she had to choose one with mixed bathing.

Following the sequence detailed on the informations board above, everyone ended up at the grand outdoor mud bath, where genders were segregated by a simple wooden fence that probably had a light transmission rating of 99% 🙁

The grand outdoor mud bath
Image from source as photography was obviously prohibited
Click to enlarge.

Now Miss Loi has long been aware of the stereotype that Japanese men are a little sick in the mind, so it was to her great relief that the male section of the mud bath was deserted when she reached the pool. Seeing that the coast was clear, Miss Loi quickly overtook the aunties and the rest of the girls as everyone slowly waded their way, like commando soldiers in a war movie, towards the center of the mud pool (as shown in Figure A).

Figure A

But just when she was beginning to revel in the beautiful, glorious surroundings in the center of the pool, tragedy struck in the form of three fat, hairy, ugly, paunchy and naked middle-aged Japanese men who appeared out of nowhere to permanently put an end to the beautiful, glorious surroundings (see Figure B)!

Figure B
N.B. Miss Loi scoured the net and finally settled on this image
to represent all disgustingly fat, ugly and hairy men of the world.

Miss Loi was prepared to give them the benefit of the doubt (after all this was supposed to be mixed bathing), but she became really uncomfortable when instead of plunging straight into the mud pool (as they should be doing), they proceeded to walk around the perimeter of the pool with their infinitesimal minuscule towels barely able to perform their duty of concealment. (see Figure C)

Figure C

Even though all of them pretended not to look at the women, Miss Loi was 100% confirm chop stamp sure that she caught a glimpse of at least one pair of evil-looking lecherous eyes staring down at her!

Though the mud managed to keep everything sufficiently under wraps, those lecherous eyes were enough to make even the aunties and the sweet young things start their retreat to the relative safety of the ladies-only chamber, leaving Miss Loi stuck at the back of a human traffic jam!

By the time she got back to the chamber, Miss Loi quickly sat down and deduced (through her mathematical powers) that the pool was circular with radius r = 7m, and that the three disgustingly fat and ugly Japanese men traveled a total distance of s = 16m along the perimeter.

Assuming that she was stuck in the center of the pool, and using the mensuration formula of a sector i.e.

s = x 2πr

Solving for θ, she gets

θ = = 130.9^o!!!

That’s more than 130^o of exposure to three pairs of lecherous eyes!

That figure was too much for this extremely shy and demure lady to bear, as she quickly took a shower, got dressed, ran out of the spa with tears streaming down her face, and boarded the first bus heading to the coast,

Where she took one last look at the endless sea

Before tragically burying herself alive in the simmering hot sands by the beach.

頑張って!!!

Miss Loi