From 120km/h cement trucks to 40km/h aunties & uncles hogging the right lane, Miss Loi thought she’d seen it all in her daily commute to her students’ residences on Singapore’s world-class roads. But what happened yesterday afternoon left her in a bit of a shock – even worse than her previous accident experience.
To go straight to the plot, there were three of us travelling happily along Ang Mo Kio Ave 2 in the vicinity of St. Nicholas Girls’ School – a blue pickup lorry and the two protagonists: a sexy Maths tutor in a black Toyota car, and … umm … let’s just call him Mr Dumbass in a black egg-shaped Mitsubishi Colt Plus.
As you can see from the diagram above, everyone was merrily cruising in formation along the two-lane road, the sky was blue, the birds were chirping, and the world was in equilibrium.
Perhaps a massive bout of self-pity for his sad underachieving life suddenly overwhelmed Mr Dumbass, but still this is not a good reason for him to do this:
From the haunting image she saw in her side mirror, Miss Loi was dead sure 2 cm was all that separated her from the real possibility of yesterday’s post becoming this blog’s final post. In fact her fingers are trembling now as she types this.
To his credit, in the obvious absence of a functioning brain, Mr Dumbass appears to be well-compensated with a pair of functioning ears so he did manage to pull away at the last minute (and it was really last-minute!) upon hearing Miss Loi’s incessant horning for what sounded like an eternity.
By now Miss Loi had slowed her car and was still reeling from the shock. Mr Dumbass had also slowed down and was now cruising, ironically, at least 20m behind her.
Once she had regained some composure, Miss Loi signalled to stop and was expecting Mr Dumbass to do likewise, get out of the eggshell of his car and at least apologise.
No. plate SGK XXXX X
NOS included
Just as she was preparing to unleash 16 years’ worth of student reprimanding experience on him, much to her utter dismay, Mr Dumbass’ eggshell suddenly came to life and zoomed past her as if it was running on NOS!
As she angrily tidied her messy hair caused by Mr Dumbass’ slipstream, Miss Loi is convinced that with the rising number of vehicles driven by an increasing population of Dumbasses, Singapore’s world-class roads are becoming more dangerous by the day.
As she saw another pair of efficient white-uniformed wardens zipping past on their scooters on their way to summon the next batch of unfortunate illegal parking offenders, she couldn’t help feel that some of this efficiency could be better channeled to catch wimpy idiotic dumbasses like the one above.
Afterall dumbasses can kill. 10-minute expired coupons don’t.
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Miss Loi is a full-time private tutor in Singapore specializing in O-Level Maths tuition. Her life's calling is to eradicate the terrifying LMBFH Syndrome off the face of this planet. For over 21 years she has been a savior to countless students ... 
51 Comments
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OMG! What a dumbass indeed! With such a small space, did he really think the egg would be able to roll through despite it being small?
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You manage to catch Mr Dumbass car plate? Go report on him.. it is so damn dangerous
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WishBoNe, if you looked at the diagram again you'll find that the sexy maths tutor was even slightly ahead of Mr Dumbass!
So he should still see her even if he didn't check his blind-spot. Unless
1) his window tint was too dark (suspect this was the case as Miss Loi couldn't see his face despite being so close)
2) the A-pillar of the Colt is too fat
3) his eyeball/neck muscles were incapable of turning even a single degree.
Tsk.
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Paddy, thanks for your concern. Unfortunately it happened so fast and Miss Loi was so traumatized afterwards that only the alphabets 'SGK' were recalled.
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Ms sexy maths tutor....u sure he alone in the car? keke...maybe someone else bending over some area u never saw...
Such a hamster for not stopping....
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I couldnt stop laughing when you labeled yourself as sexy maths tutor.. hee hee.. Not that you are not (I think .. oops) but really funny
Paddy
'Not so sexy CEO but can dance a good strip tease'
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Hey ByPasser, don't be naughty huh.
But then again maybe that explains why his windows were so darkly tinted ... and also why he didn't stop!
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Paddy, you are hereby cordially invited to perform the CEO Strip Tease Dance at Miss Loi's Temple for this year's post-exams celebrations.
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er world class roads? dunno about that but sg drivers are certainly not world class..common knowledge
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goodness. what an idiot.
he's a dumbass. he wouldn't stop to apologize. cowards like him run away. eek.
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haha swt for u ms loi
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Kiroii, Singapore most definitely has a world-class transportation network consisting of world-class drivers (such as the one described in this post) graduating from world-class driving schools driving on world-class roads!
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imp, at the end of the day we ought to be understanding to others. See comments #5 and #7.
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123` what's swt? *scratches head*
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Whatever the cause, its gd that no one gets hurt in this near-accident. It sucks, but sometimes, all it takes is just one mistake and lifes may be lost. (just like the recent hougang fire thingy) So yah, your are right about your entry title.
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er miss loi world class drivers in singapore?>.< i was under the impression singapore drivers are one of the worst..they'll cut lanes without thinking...i heard that in aus no matter how SLOW you drive or how bad u drive etc etc..they wont honk or hurl rebulks or innuendos but in singapore u drive slow, you'll get honks and insulting remarks..
world class drivers?
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i think she is trying to be sarcastic....
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Probably we are related =D! From the LOI ancestors! Whats your english LOI in chinese?
(I meant how do you write your surname in chinese. xD)
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I thought S'porean r all good boy & good gurls! Actually what speed are u all doing? Yes u r lucky to be alive! I am also amaze how a lady will change if u mess up her hair! He! He! Have a nice day!
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er...smiling while typing
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er no offence for insinuating singaporeans but as a singaporean myself maybe im a little biased..as im not really a nationalist..
i mean lets face it u take de mrt and scrutinise yer surroundings..especially during rush hours..people push and knock like they dunno the term "manners" when the door opens everyone simply rushes in talk abt haphazzardness?
furthermore speakin of moral ettiquite how many singaporeans actually give up their sits for the needy(elderly or the pregnant)..lets face it under our present government singapore is technically a land of wealth..moral principles are eroding..
thus "good boys and gurls"? think again..
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hmm but i mean feel free to ignore my comments or stmatisations after all what do i know im a mere adolescent..
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*stigmatisations
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Hello Ms Lara Loi! You certainly have a very cool surname! FYI the family clan over here is 罗.
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HAM,
As law-abiding motorists we were all traveling in such haste that speed cameras would have no chance to waste their flashes.
You want to try messing up Miss Loi's hair and see what will happen to you?
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123, oh yes Miss Loi found this out later from her student. You can tell from here that she doesn't really do much IM.
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kiroii, chill it and read between the lines dude! You'll find that everyone here is actually on your side!
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nah juz rather agitated that 2 of my classmates actually thought that lee kuan *** was "god" zz sry abt that-.-"" but this gov is really..
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AIYA! Different! Mine's 李. WOAH. 罗 sounds pretty cool too. So far of all the 17years i've lived. i only managed to know another LOI which is around last year december (Your the second Loi I've found.) and her LOI is written as 黎 or something like that. (I can't remember XD) Still pronounced as Li in chinese but definitely of a more complicated character and a different tone. SO COOLLLLL.. Even of the rare few LOI i could find, all our surname in chinese is of diff character!!!
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LOL makes for a good topic for my blog! Glad you're alright
Wa lao... you describe yourself as 'sexy maths tutor' that's why he wanna come so close lah! If it was me, I prolly bang you just to get you outta the car to get your phone number!
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woah interesting, this is perhaps the first blog I have read on a near death/accident experience without any profanity..
coz if it were me, I would curse him/her, the descendants and ancestors to the very depths of hell not even the 7 levels can take...nice one teacher..
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Miss Loi (李),
This is the first time Miss Loi has heard that Loi can be = 李. The only other Loi she'd known is 吕.
If this is the case then can we start calling our PM Loi HL and his dad Loi KY! lol
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HighwayBlogger, from the way he zoomed past, doubt he was ever interested in getting any numbers.
Think he should even count himself lucky Miss Loi missed his car plate number!
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Hey Jason, how would you know that Miss Loi didn't cordially escort him and his 祖宗十八代 to 十八层地狱 (albeit silently)?
Then again, why do guys (and some gals) like to sprout profanities?
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wa..keke this topic like damn hot leh...comments 多多
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ti-cher - hmmm..think perhaps its prob a reflex or something...~evil though~
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HAHAHA! Well, I guess I'll have to thank my Ah Gong then. Because the nurse registered our surname wrongly from Li to Loi during his batch. So yups =D! That's why 李 was never supposed to be LOI xD!
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Indeed hot topic, lots of comment. Ya...indeed some of the Han Yu Ping Ying surname registered by the nurse wrongly so we end up having same chinese surname but different Ping Ying...wa...lucky not mix up child....
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Oh...one more thing, how u draw those pic on this entry? What software u used?
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123 & ByPassing: Miss Loi is surprised too that this turned out to to be rather a hot topic. Actually Miss Loi just had another angry encounter (though not a life-threatening one) with another world-class Singaporean driver.
Still deliberating on whether to blog it (at the risk of this degenerating into a motorist complaints blog).
P.S. But the comments are getting a little OT already
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Jason, then Miss Loi is very different from you. Her usual reflex action is to head downtown for retail therapy. LOL
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Miss Lara 李 Loi,
Think all Lois are nurses' mistakes! According to legend, the surname of an entire generation of this blog's owner's family tree was also 'determined' by a forward-thinking hospital staff!
Maybe the both of us came from the same hospital then!
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ByPassing (again), Miss Loi's Trusty Webmaster helped her draw those diagrams. Not sure got to ask him but think he uses MS Word or Photoshop.
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Maybe Mr Dumbass was trying to hook you up by giving you a moment that you'll never forget?
But I wonder why he drove off after you stopped... hmmmmm...
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Welcome to Jφss Sticks Anntonii!
Maybe anyone would have driven off on seeing Miss Loi's face that day!
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Wow, im actually one of the chatter-box(ers)
@.@
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Wow, aren't you honoured to be among the greats?
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goodness...thank God u r alive! How can the world lose a sexy maths teacher with wits to match to a Dumbass?!
Ya...the Singapore roads are increasingly filled with dumbasses (though sometimes I count myself to be one of them...)
Guess the only thing we can do is not to be one ourselves
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Jzin, maybe the ERPs, speed cameras, parking attendants, and the massive jams these days tend to bring out the Dumbasses in all of us.
What make/model/colour do you drive so that Miss Loi can siam you when you're spotted on the road? lol
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actually, itz mainly the other dumbasses that brings out the dumbass in me!
-Driver of a grey Toyota (1.8L Altis...not many on the road so...)
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Ahhh ... a rare 1.8 indeed. Do give out a friendly horn should we ever bump (pun unintended) into each other on the road one day.